Hey, what is new recruits? It's Destiny here.
I know I usually don't do something like this, but I want to be as transparent as I possibly can when it comes to sharing some of the thoughts I've been having as of late. As if it isn't obvious enough, I announced a while back that I was officially stepping down from streaming. While I had shared some thoughts in the twitter thread, I've been feeling like there's been much more under the covers than what people generally think. I have talked about my feelings about this to some friends but in reality, I think me stepping down from streaming, or even content creation in general, is the best approach I can do as of now. If you didn’t know, I’ve been making content since 2009. Over the years, I’ve just been experimenting with trying out different formats, videos, platforms, or anything else I could grasp onto. From just random little skit videos to highly edited content to streaming, I’ve done all I can in my power to attempt at producing things.
For those unaware, here’s my timeline of how I produced content.
2009-2010: I started my very first YouTube channel, producing random skit videos either alone or with my friends. Dipping my toes into acting and kickstarting the “talking to a camera” personality. Keep in mind that none of the videos were actually edited or scripted. Primarily just pointing the camera and shooting, while stitching it all together in Windows Movie Maker, uploading it, and calling it a day.
2010-2013: I made an interesting switch to Thomas the Tank Engine videos. It was during this time that I began recording and producing my own stories and skits with the toy trains I had, primarily cause I saw other Thomas The Tank Engine community members doing it. While it was a weird thing to do, it was something I really enjoyed doing, because I was passionate about it. My creative side really took over to make the stories and make attempts to give each character their own persona with my own little twist. This was also the era where I began dipping my toes into using editing software and voice acting for the very first time. As childish and cringy as it sounds, it really was a stepping stone for me to attempt to branch out my creativity more into story writing and dialog. Though it sadly ended when my channel was terminated for violating YouTube’s community guidelines for using copyrighted content from the Thomas The Tank Engine series...
2013-2014: I still had an interest in producing content and made a new channel, only this time I stepped up my game (literally). I began producing Minecraft related content, practically playing the game religiously at the time. I was passionate about everything I did in it, whether it was a Let’s Plays, Minigames, Events, Machinimas, Adventure Maps, anything you could think of when it came to Minecraft, I recorded and produced it. While I didn’t have a very powerful computer, it really got me into the whole “YouTube” persona. This was also the time where I stepped up my quality. I began using more programs to produce the videos and even bought my first ever condenser microphone, being the Blue Snowball. I even made my first ever gaming computer to step up the quality even more and branch out into more games I was interested in playing.
2014-2015: While I still had an interest in Minecraft, I really began switching to different games. One of which as you may all know was Garry’s Mod. I had essentially ditched the Minecraft channel and started the channel and name you all know me by today, “DestinysPowerOfStupidity.” I had completely ditched the old format just doing everything simple and decided to go all out and have a crack at editing to my fullest potential. Making gaming videos as highly edited as possible. It was also during this time that I began to notice a shift in my personality and my friends as a whole. Completely ditching my old friend group and joining a new flourishing one that you all know and love today.
2015-2017: My time on YouTube really started to take a hit when school was becoming stressful, as I’d been putting it off to focus on making videos. I really wanted to change my style and not have to put so much time into making each and every video. Instead, my mentality shifted when I was introduced to Twitch and I began streaming. While I won’t go into detail on how I started, you can read that on the about page here on my website, it truly had the idealism I had when I originally started YouTube. Talking to people and interacting on a real-time basis. While the quality I see now as unqualifying, it got me into the stepping stones of streaming. I was streaming as much as possible seeing as it made good use of the time and allowed me to focus on schooling.
2017-2019: I like to refer to this as the full experimentation era, as I was completely unsure of what I was actually doing during this period. I had taken numerous breaks from streaming to focus on my mental health and personal matters and was completely flip-flopping between Twitch and YouTube. I ended up splitting the YouTube channels and having one for IRL based content and another for gaming (which was a mistake by the way). I tried producing new edited gaming content again on the new channel, I tried producing vlogs on the main channel, I tried completely revamping my Twitch channel, I tried making a podcast along with some friends on another channel, I even tried my hands at making music!? What the fuck was I on during this period!? I still even had more plans for making content that I never got around to because I ended up cluttering myself with so many things to handle both inside and outside content creation. I really was a mess during this period.
Which leads us to today. 2020.
I’ve done so much over the last decade but I still can’t find my proper footing in anything I’ve done while burning myself out continuously. While yes, some have been more successful than others, I just can’t see myself being a full content creator or streamer anymore. For the last couple of years, I found myself quitting, picking everything back up again, then to quit it once again later. I’ve been stuck in the same endless cycle and it’s lead me to think deeply about what I found fun anymore. What I found to be something I truly enjoyed. I’ve come to the resolution that I needed to take my life in a different direction. To focus on what I have in front of me physically instead of what I can produce that’ll end up on the internet.
Everyone always says that life is short and to make the most of it, which is what I want to do. I’ve recently found a love in roller coasters which had lead me to travel to places I had never been to before. While I was planning on recording content based around the roller coasters or just vlog, it was during my time visiting Ccp3nguin where I actually sat down with my camera in hand and actually asked myself what the point of being there was. Was it to record videos or was it to enjoy myself? I had literally hit the existential crisis of what was the point of making videos. I actually made the decision to put the camera down to refocus myself on not caring about making the videos and just go out and enjoy myself while I was there. Needless to say, I actually enjoyed it. It gave me a sense of freedom of not having to worry about a camera all the time. It was when I came home from the trip and got admitted to the hospital (thanks to a health-related issue) where it really hit me. I stepped away from my computer for two weeks and went out and did things I rarely did. Shopping, bowling, spending time with family and friends, really everything I could that really made me happy besides sitting in front of screens all day. Which brings me to my point for all this.
I’ve enjoyed making the content I have produced over the years and I always look back at them, even if they are full of cringe or not. I’m proud of the videos and streams I’ve made and impacted people’s lives. Today is a different story. Starting this decade, I’m beginning to move away from dealing with having to document every single game I play or every place I travel to. Refreshing my mentality to go out and enjoy myself and spend time with the people I call friends and family. Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m stepping away from content creation as a whole. I still have streaming as a personal interest and I still enjoy doing it from time to time. I just won’t be doing it as often as I used to, only when I feel in the right mindset is when I’ll stream. I’ll still be around for my friends’ stream and supporting them all the way. For myself, I’m taking my time and going out to enjoy the things I want to enjoy in life. To see things I’ve never seen before. To make the most of the short life we are dealt with. I can’t thank anyone enough who’s stuck by side in everything that I’ve done up to today. Whether you’re a close friend or just a lurker, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to express myself via my creative means. While I’m not gone, I’m taking the steps to ensure a happier and healthier life for myself. For a better future, and a better me.