The Future Regarding Myself and Flash Po!nte.
As some of you may or may not have noticed, I disappeared for a while. Some people noticed within the first day of it happening, others cared more for the Flash Po!nte Private Discord, while others didn’t care at all about my disappearance. The reason why I both disappeared and why I shut down the discord was primarily due to personal issues. There was a conflict in the group that I was involved with and it led to a point where I felt they betrayed the trust I had for them. Coupled with the fact that the day it occurred on wasn’t particularly a pleasant one either. Some people may know this, but I work in a Medical Manufacturing Plant and due to the rise of Covid-19, or Coronavirus as it’s often known, my work has essentially been stressing me out. It got to the point where I was at my absolute limit and any little thing would set me off. The day the shutdown or privatization occurred on the server and Discord, I had been pushed over my stressed limit during the conflict and I snapped. I was called out on personal items which pushed over the line and fell into this current state. Some people can take note that this occurrence has happened before, only it was with the Minecraft Server. And I believe it's better I begin to take a different approach to how I take care of situations and to do so, I must change some things first to begin those stages.
As much as I enjoyed being a part of “Flash Po!nte,” my time in the group is now going to come to an end. I am officially leaving the group. What does this mean as a whole you may be asking.
Realistically, there’s only going to be minor changes to how I talk to people. I’m still friends with a majority of you, but to some people whom I rarely talk to, or barely talk to at all, I say goodbye. I will also not be participating in any large scale group activities or any future meetups that may occur in the future.
Now the absolute biggest change will occur to any servers that were hosted for the group. As many people know, I generally hosted servers to help everyone have a good time and a place to mess around while still keeping it closed off to the group. Though as of late, I’ve come to the realization that hosting these servers have been more stress-inducing than anything. Not only has it been stress-inducing, but it’s also all been out of my very own pocket and I’m spending money to have these servers for everyone to play on. Every server that I’ve hosted for the group has been alright, the reward of it really hasn’t been in the benefit of worth.
Most notably, one instance of which constantly comes back to mind is the Gmod Trial Run. During that session, there were many people complaining about the lag and inconsistencies with the server, thus even some people saying that the server was terrible, didn’t appreciate it, and would’ve rather played on a public server. Imagine how that feels when you put two hours of your time figuring out how to set up the server, and troubleshooting issues that arise. Yet, when the server is actually working, no one appreciates you for the work you put in for everyone to have fun. Eventually, I had reworked the server in its entirety and even made our own packs of maps and game modes we could play on the server. All of which took a matter of a week to compile and get working efficiently on the server. Yet, the server only lasted a total of two weeks. Yes. Two. Weeks. Imagine taking the free time out of your week working on something so hard, to only have it be acknowledged for a short amount of time and completely forgotten. It hurts. Severely.
While the Minecraft server has had “better” longevity, it’s setup process and dedication it’s taken to run the server is still a burden. Whether we were playing on the SMP world or doing rounds of Hide and Seek, it’s always faded off over time as people continually lose interest in actually playing the game anymore. I still have more pride in the Minecraft server than anything, but really, it’s gone underappreciated and it’s overall not worth having anymore just to please people.
While some people appreciate the time and dedication that goes into running these servers, a majority of people don’t seem to care for them at all and completely take them for granted.
With that being said, with my departure from Flash Pointe, all servers that were associated with the group will be/have been terminated. The Gmod server is already gone and is no longer operational and thus will completely cease existence. All of the Flash Po!nte packs that were made for the server have also been terminated. The Minecraft Server (Or more commonly known as Chillax SMP) will begin to be closed off to other people and become more of a personalized server. The world that’s currently on that server will remain as is and you will be able to continue playing it. However, as more and more people begin to lose interest in the world (which has happened every single season thus far) then it will officially cease any operation of being an SMP that was open to any member of Flash Po!nte and become a personal server for myself and anyone who I deem as a close friend. Lastly, the Discord server that was put into “Private Mode” will begin the process of debranding itself from Flash Point and become my own personal server, and will be renamed back to Chillax Chat. Any person who I don’t deem necessary to keep around will be removed from the server.
I still appreciate any and everyone who has made me into who I am today. From all the memories that will be cherished over the years, old to new. Really, I need to learn to take the time to re-evaluate where the lines need to be drawn. There’s been plenty of instances where there have been some lines crossed and I don’t say anything. There’s been plenty of toxicity within or related to Flash Po!nte that no one sees because they don’t care enough for it. Drama is everywhere. Even in this little bubble we’re all in. If you don’t see it, you may be one of the people who is causing it, and I’m not excluding myself as I’ve been a part of a few situations as well. There’s been a few instances of drama issues that have arisen between myself and others plenty of times. I cannot keep battling with the inner selves of mine to think that everything is okay when it’s clearly not. I cannot continue on with the mentality I’ve been attempting to re-develop since 2018. I’m taking a full stride back. I’m taking the liberties needed to find where I can stand on my own and not in a circle of others. My speech has gotten worse thanks to the stress and my thought processes have also been severely clouded. I am/have been seeking the therapy needed. This is one of those things she suggested to me and so, I’m taking those first steps back.
I would like to thank those personally who reached out to check on me when I disappeared. Really means a lot to show who actually does care and who doesn’t. I also thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say in the matter. For now, this is a goodbye until I feel there may be a time and place where I do return back into full swing and become the Destiny/Andy you all knew and liked. For now, I’m doing the things needed to ensure I can gain the happiness back I so cherished. To better myself for the future